12
Feb
09

A Bit Out of Sorts


Some of you may have noticed that I owe my readers approximately four posts and a weekly mix at this point. I’ve been AWOL for nearly two weeks now, and the only way I can explain it is that I’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts lately. It could be the culmination of my ongoing unemployment, my general uncertainty about this blog, and my natural propensity for inexplicable bouts of this type. When I say uncertainty about this blog, I mean that I’m mulling over quality versus quantity issues.

Over the course of the last year I aimed for quality over quantity (fewer, but longer, detailed posts), and it seemed to work quite well. I’ve never really wanted to be a blogger that tries to pump out links to songs just so I can be among the first to post them and generate massive traffic. Lately, I’ve just felt more pressured than usual to keep delivering detailed commentary to the best of my ability. And I often just don’t feel up to the best of my ability, nor do I feel like I’m hitting my best a lot of the time. Sometimes I feel like I’ve run out of ways to describe music and that I’m merely repeating myself. The temptation to write a couple lines saying “These songs are really good and you should listen to them” and post links grew over the past couple of weeks. But I want to fight that feeling. It could also just be my lifelong struggle with writer’s block and with diary-writing of any sort (I’ve never been able to keep a journal for more than a few days…even on overseas trips).

I’ve also started to feel a little snowed under with the amount of music I want to listen to properly and can’t seem to commit my brain to. I want to listen to music with the same intensity as a fan, not always as a critic. I’m not a professional music critic, nor am I a music journalist, and it would do me good to keep that in mind. Critics don’t seem like happy people (just look at Paul Morley), and I get enough unhappy naturally without becoming one.

This isn’t a cry for pity or sympathy – it’s merely an explanation for my spotty showing these past couple of weeks. In the end, I think I needed the small break to recollect myself, and I needed to remind myself what this blog was supposed to be about in the firstplace: my love for music. That means I shouldn’t feel pressured to write about music I don’t feel anything for and perhaps it means I shouldn’t feel pressured to stick to any sort of rigid production schedule – if I have nothing to say for the week, I just shouldn’t post. I may lose readers in the end, but audience numbers shouldn’t be my goal. It might take some re-thinking and re-formatting how I write here, but I want to push through this gloomy ebb of self-esteem. And music will help me do that.

For now, I’m leaving you with two tracks that brought me back to the land of the posting: Butcher Boy’s Carve a Pattern and Camera Obscura’s My Maudlin Career. Both are uplifting songs from upcoming albums releasing in April. I look forward to hearing them and hopefully falling in love with music again.

Carve a Pattern – Butcher Boy

My Maudlin Career – Camera Obscura

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3 Responses to “A Bit Out of Sorts”


  1. 1 FullFathomFive
    February 12, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    My dear Condenmed Rocker, this doctor diagnoses 'burnout' with an element of SAD and recommends – a holiday. Preferably somewhere warm & sunny!

    Hope you feel better soon. Thanks for sharing your thoughts so candidly.

  2. 2 david
    February 15, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    My dear Condenmed Rocker,

    This doctor concurs.

    Chin-up. every cloud etc.

    And cheers for a quality blog.

  3. 3 einusinnieinar
    February 15, 2009 at 11:44 pm

    Hello

    I found your site through hypem.com and was trying to download
    “Don’t You Want Me (Extended Remix)” by Human League, but apparently the link has expired.

    I really want this version of the song so would you be so kind to refresh the link or email it to me

    einargud@internet.is

    Cheers
    Einar


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But I've never caught a glimpse

Of how the others must see the faker

I'm much too fast to take that test

The Smiths Queen is Dead

A dreaded sunny day

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And I meet you at the cemetry gates

Oh, Keats and Yeats are on your side

A dreaded sunny day

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The Clash London Calling

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Charles Windsor, who's at the door

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In the back of an old green Cortina

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Then you came with your breezeblocks

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You think you're giving

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Won't someone give me more fun?

(and the skin flies all around us)

We kiss in his room to a popular tune

Oh, real drowners

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Don't walk away

In silence

See the danger

Always danger

Endless talking

Life rebuilding

Don't walk away

Walk in silence

Don't turn away in silence

Your confusion

My illusion

Worn like a mask of self-hate

Confronts and then dies

Don't walk away

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You don't want to hurt me

But see how deep the bullet lies

Unaware I'm tearing you asunder

Oh there is thunder in our hearts

Is there so much hate for the ones we love

Tell me we both matter don't we

The Associates Affectionate

I don't know whether

To over or under estimate you

Whether to over or under estimate you

For when I come over

You then put me under

Personal taste is a matter of gender

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I wake at dusk to go alone without a light

To the unknown

I want this night inside of me

I want to feel

I want this speeding

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You'll never live like common people

You'll never do what common people do

You'll never fail like common people

You'll never watch your life slide out of view

And dance and drink and screw

Because there's nothing else to do

Vanilla Swingers

All I have is words, words that don't obtain

And I feel I'm a stain on your horizon

So I stay away - it's easier that way

And there won't be no-one I need to rely on

Is it him, is it me

Or is there something only I can see

How did I get here, why do we blow around like straw dogs on the breeze

I'm a special one, what they used to say

But I've to stay on, finish levels-A

You don't need exams when you've read John Gray

The Indelicates American Demo

And nobody ever comes alive

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And boys who should know better grin and get high

With fat men who once met the MC5

And no one discusses what they don't understand

And no one does anything to harm the brand

And this gift is an illusion, this isn't hard

Absolutely anyone can play the fucking guitar

JAMC Darklands

And we tried so hard

And we looked so good

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Plucked her eyebrows on the way

Shaved her leg and then he was a she

She says, hey babe,

Take a walk on the wild side

Said, hey honey, take a walk on the wild side

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Hide on the promenade

Etch a postcard:

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Come, come, come - nuclear bomb

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We would always know when to stop

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Nobody has gained or accomplished anything

Wire Pink Flag

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It's not a cry that you hear at night

It's not somebody who's seen the light

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To all tomorrow's parties

For Thursday's child is Sunday's clown

For whom none will go mourning

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I won't tell anybody

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Go for it

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Down on Fascination Street

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To drag you down with me

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Valentines

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India, you're my love song

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Spit out your lies and chewing gum

Cut off your hair yeah that's it!

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Burning all the old folks, the witches and the liars.

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But my heart keeps watchin' through the skin of my eyelids

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Prince charming

Prince charming

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of

Don't you ever, don't you ever

Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome


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